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fic: Food Drabbles
Now I asked you all to step up for the Food Meme, but did you listen to me? Nooooooo, had to give ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
masamunes_song time to get out of her gameplay hibernation and hit me with the freaky! Now you have to deal with the consequences! Or hit the back button and leave me here all by my lonesome.T_T There's still one more spot! What the hell are you waiting for? ;P
Forskeren:
Title: Flavor
Characters: Reno, Yuffie
Prompt: Tea
Rating: R
Word Count: 100
“This is some bitter shit.” Reno grimaced into his teacup.
“It's good green tea!” Yuffie snapped. “It's supposed to be bitter.”
“Figures.” Reno took another sip and made a face, turning away to spare Yuffie the worst of it. “Yech! Seriously, how can people drink this all the time? It's awful!”
“It's soothing and good for you.” Yuffie took a defiant sip.
Reno smirked, “I know something else that's good for you.”
“Oh, please. Firstly, those cancer prevention stories were a lie and second, if you think green tea is bitter, well, I guess you must be straight after all.”
Formasamunes_song:
Title: Biggest Fan
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Sephiroth, Janice, Zoot
Prompt: Chocolate
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Truthfully, Sephiroth was in the rags more than she was, the bigger celebrity, in a way. Still, he was nervous as he waited outside the theater with a box of chocolates and a pen, hoping for a glimpse and an autograph from his pouty-lipped blonde angel. “Please, if you don't mind...” He couldn't get any further. He couldn't see her bandmate's eyes behind the dark glasses but he knew the sax player was watching him anyway.
“I don't know what the problem is, Zoot,” Janice said later. “He seemed like a nice guy.” Zoot shrugged and fingered his sax.
Formasamunes_song:
Title: Breakfast Bash
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Jenova, Miss Piggy.
Prompt: Eggs
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
She was hungry, starving. She had been too long without sustenance, without a host to infect and breed in, or at least a medium to keep her alive. Sephiroth had meant well by removing her from containment, but she knew what she was. She couldn't survive on her own. She crawled along, desperate for nourishment.
There! Fine shells and soft, young, growing tissue inside! The perfect place to incubate and grow.
***
Miss Piggy wasn't going to let any space alien tentacle eggs ruin her breakfast. “You wanna piece of this, do you?” she shrieked at the frying pan. “Hi-YAH!”
Formasamunes_song:
Title: Guinea Pig
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Hojo, Beaker.
Prompt Natto
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Hojo shut the incubator and adjusted his glasses. “We'll have to check those samples again soon so we can't go far for lunch today.” His assistant made a plaintive sound. “Don't fret, you'll get fed.” He retrieved a bowl of suspiciously gooey beans from the fridge. “Eat up.”
“Mee mee mee?” Beaker looked at the bowl in alarm.
“What do mean 'is it safe?'” Hojo snapped. “It's good wholesome natto! I made it myself right here in this lab. Eat!”
“Mee mee mee mee!” Beaker shoved the bowl away.
“No, Beaker,” Hojo shoved the bowl back. “I insist. You first.”
And have two more at random, because the crazy, she will not be stopped. O_o
Title: The Peanut Gallery
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Cloud, Waldorf, Statler.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100
“Just then, the legendary hero, Alfred, appeared!” Cloud shuffled on stage and tried very hard not to look embarrassed to be there.
“He's got legendarily bad hair, if nothing else,” piped a heckler.
The knight knelt before Cloud. “Please, talk to the King!” Cloud moseyed over to the actor with the cheap foil crown.
“Oh, legendary hero, Alfred,” the King began. “You have come to save my beloved Rosa.”
“Too bad he can't save this play!” came another voice from the balcony. Cloud turned red.
The king scowled. “Don't mind those geezers,” he mumbled to Cloud. “They're here every night.”
Title: Nouvelle Cuisine
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Swedish Chef, Chocobo.
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
It was a classic recipe with classic ingredients. Classic ingredients that were proving ridiculously hard to find at the moment. The Chef hummed to himself as he wandered through the markets searching for just the right bird, but there was not a chicken to be found.
He stumbled upon a rancher's pen and there saw the epitome of avian cuisine – a well-feathered bird of exquisite proportions. “Thet's a reelly beeg cheeckee!” The Chef was beside himself. “Best cheeckee in besket ifer! Hur de hur de hur!”
“Wark!” said the bird.
The Chef frowned. “I'm gueeng tu need a beegger besket.”
masamunes_song time to get out of her gameplay hibernation and hit me with the freaky! Now you have to deal with the consequences! Or hit the back button and leave me here all by my lonesome.T_T For
skeren:Title: Flavor
Characters: Reno, Yuffie
Prompt: Tea
Rating: R
Word Count: 100
“This is some bitter shit.” Reno grimaced into his teacup.
“It's good green tea!” Yuffie snapped. “It's supposed to be bitter.”
“Figures.” Reno took another sip and made a face, turning away to spare Yuffie the worst of it. “Yech! Seriously, how can people drink this all the time? It's awful!”
“It's soothing and good for you.” Yuffie took a defiant sip.
Reno smirked, “I know something else that's good for you.”
“Oh, please. Firstly, those cancer prevention stories were a lie and second, if you think green tea is bitter, well, I guess you must be straight after all.”
For
masamunes_song:Title: Biggest Fan
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Sephiroth, Janice, Zoot
Prompt: Chocolate
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Truthfully, Sephiroth was in the rags more than she was, the bigger celebrity, in a way. Still, he was nervous as he waited outside the theater with a box of chocolates and a pen, hoping for a glimpse and an autograph from his pouty-lipped blonde angel. “Please, if you don't mind...” He couldn't get any further. He couldn't see her bandmate's eyes behind the dark glasses but he knew the sax player was watching him anyway.
“I don't know what the problem is, Zoot,” Janice said later. “He seemed like a nice guy.” Zoot shrugged and fingered his sax.
For
masamunes_song:Title: Breakfast Bash
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Jenova, Miss Piggy.
Prompt: Eggs
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
She was hungry, starving. She had been too long without sustenance, without a host to infect and breed in, or at least a medium to keep her alive. Sephiroth had meant well by removing her from containment, but she knew what she was. She couldn't survive on her own. She crawled along, desperate for nourishment.
There! Fine shells and soft, young, growing tissue inside! The perfect place to incubate and grow.
***
Miss Piggy wasn't going to let any space alien tentacle eggs ruin her breakfast. “You wanna piece of this, do you?” she shrieked at the frying pan. “Hi-YAH!”
For
masamunes_song:Title: Guinea Pig
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Hojo, Beaker.
Prompt Natto
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Hojo shut the incubator and adjusted his glasses. “We'll have to check those samples again soon so we can't go far for lunch today.” His assistant made a plaintive sound. “Don't fret, you'll get fed.” He retrieved a bowl of suspiciously gooey beans from the fridge. “Eat up.”
“Mee mee mee?” Beaker looked at the bowl in alarm.
“What do mean 'is it safe?'” Hojo snapped. “It's good wholesome natto! I made it myself right here in this lab. Eat!”
“Mee mee mee mee!” Beaker shoved the bowl away.
“No, Beaker,” Hojo shoved the bowl back. “I insist. You first.”
And have two more at random, because the crazy, she will not be stopped. O_o
Title: The Peanut Gallery
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Cloud, Waldorf, Statler.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100
“Just then, the legendary hero, Alfred, appeared!” Cloud shuffled on stage and tried very hard not to look embarrassed to be there.
“He's got legendarily bad hair, if nothing else,” piped a heckler.
The knight knelt before Cloud. “Please, talk to the King!” Cloud moseyed over to the actor with the cheap foil crown.
“Oh, legendary hero, Alfred,” the King began. “You have come to save my beloved Rosa.”
“Too bad he can't save this play!” came another voice from the balcony. Cloud turned red.
The king scowled. “Don't mind those geezers,” he mumbled to Cloud. “They're here every night.”
Title: Nouvelle Cuisine
Series: FF7/The Muppet Show
Characters: Swedish Chef, Chocobo.
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
It was a classic recipe with classic ingredients. Classic ingredients that were proving ridiculously hard to find at the moment. The Chef hummed to himself as he wandered through the markets searching for just the right bird, but there was not a chicken to be found.
He stumbled upon a rancher's pen and there saw the epitome of avian cuisine – a well-feathered bird of exquisite proportions. “Thet's a reelly beeg cheeckee!” The Chef was beside himself. “Best cheeckee in besket ifer! Hur de hur de hur!”
“Wark!” said the bird.
The Chef frowned. “I'm gueeng tu need a beegger besket.”
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The Janice/Zoot one was better than I could have hoped. I was just searching for opposites and the peaceniks versus the general caught my mind's eye. But Sephiroth fangurling over the band? Crazy awesome.
My money's on Miss Piggy, frankly. Even if she got infected by the mothery virus, the world-domination tendencies would only blend with natural aggression.
LOVED the Hojo one. Alas, poor Beaker. When he's not getting blackened and frizzed and generally set-upon by the science community, he's being fed natto.
Hojo: Alright! We'll order pizza. But I'm not letting this go to waste. Feed it to Vincent.
Beaker: Mee-mee!! Mee-mee!!
Hojo: Relax! He hasn't been able to access the Chaos form at all.
Beaker: Mee MEEE!
As soon as I saw Cloud, I thought-- 'hey now, I don't think I had anything to do with that.'
What have I done? Can it be undone?
But those last two are absolutely classic. I just don't know what to say. Cloud getting (quite justifiably) heckled by the resident theater geezers? A chocobo who'd better hope he's levelled his pecking skills? FFVII+the Muppets= Luff.
Crazy luff.
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I don't even want to think about Miss Piggy with tentacles. Kermit would never escape.
I practically guarantee every scientist in the world has had some Beaker moments back in their student days. After all, what are low-paid interns for, right, Hojo? >_>
The rest, yeah, it just wouldn't stop (still won't actually, I should be careful what I write), and I'd been wanting to put the online Swedish Chef translator thing to use for a while. XD
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That is all.
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I had to try very hard to stop myself from laughing out loud at your FF7/Muppet Show drabbles. XD Out of all five of them, I enjoyed Biggest Fan, Breakfast Bash and Guinea Pig the most. The Hojo/Beaker one is just hilarious. The Muppet Show is a fandom I haven't touched for years, and now you might have reignited it in me. ^^'
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So funny!