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A Fic and a Pic
Title: Abuse of Power
Characters: Cloud, Vincent, Angeal, Sephiroth, Zack, Turks + other cast members.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 752
Notes: Being one poorly-illustrated crack fic and something of a self-insert, inspired by this little conversation.
After the nail-painting, the hair-streaking, watching twohot pornos sappy chick flicks and the preordained pillow-fight in underwear, there wasn’t much else left to do.
“Want to turn in?” Tifa asked.
“No way!” Aeris rolled over onto her stomach. “What kind of slumber party would that be? There’s got to be something we can do.”
Yuffie hauled her bag over. “We could try this new materia I, uh, acquired. It’s a summon.”
Tifa peered into the red globe. “Which one?”
Yuffie shrugged. “Dunno. We’ll have to try it and see.”
“Can’t hurt too much, I guess,” Aeris said, “Give it a go, Yuf.”
“Okay!” Yuffie slid the material into a bangle and focused. The girls all closed their eyes, not knowing what to expect.
After a few minutes of tense silence, Aeris took a peek. “Did anything happen?”
Tifa looked around. “Doesn’t look that way.”
“Aw, man,” Yuffie whined. “I went through all that trouble to ste- uh, acquire this thing and it’s a dud? That sucks.”
Aeris shrugged. “Want to go raid the fridge then?”
“Might as well.”
*******
There really was nothing appropriate to say under the circumstances so Cloud settled for saying nothing. Instead, he busied himself gathering his clothes. From the jingles and rustles behind him, it seemed the other man was doing the same.
Cloud reached down into the dark and encountered a large swath of cloth. It was worn soft and threadbare with use and the color was vivid and unfaded, even in the poor light. Cloud held it out as far behind him as he could reach, clearing his throat slightly.
There was a pause before the cape slid from his fingers. “Thank you,” Vincent said. Cloud nodded, still not turning around. “For what it’s worth,” Vincent continued, “you’re quite good.”
*******
Try as she might, Elena could not tear her eyes away from the utterly insane perversion of a trainwreck before her. Little toy cats weren’t supposed to have the parts to do what that thing was doing, and that wasn’t even mentioning the mog. “Tuesti, you’re a sick man!”
“Hey,” Reeve protested, “I only built them.”
*******
As an ace pilot, trained extensively to withstand high velocities and g-force, Cid prided himself on an iron constitution, but goddammit if this situation didn’t make him want to fucking hurl. Correction: Fucking massacre something and then fucking hurl.
Across the room, struggling to get a sheet to go all the way around him, Palmer was turning several blotchy shades of red. “I’ll give you all the money you want for the space program if you don’t tell anyone about this!” he blurted.
Cid blinked. “Keep talking,” he said and reached for a smoke. Maybe this wasn’t all bad.
*******
“Hey!” Vernon Wilkes, Rocket Town resident, banged on the bathroom door. “Some of us have real emergencies, you know! Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on in there, you silver-haired freaks!”
Unfortunately for Vernon, the only thing that came out of the bathroom was a series of giggles and one, “I wonder how big Niisan’s is.”
*******
Tseng came to a slow stop and took stock of the situation. The view was a little higher up than he was used to and his seat was rather uncomfortablein that Hurt So Good sense. He had an urge to neaten up, fix his cuffs, or straighten his tie, but since he wasn’t wearing his tie, that was clearly going to be a problem. Rude, sunglasses askew, couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Well,” Rufus breathed, looking up at Tseng from the executive chair, “much as I appreciate the show, guys, my desk isn’t the best place for that.” Rude grunted. “And Reno,” Rufus continued, glancing down, “you don’t have to keep doing that.”
Reno looked up from beneath the desk in between slurps. “Already here, Boss,” he said, with one slow lick. “Might as well finish the job.”
*******
“Heh heh.” Zack chuckled nervously as he looked at his superior officers, trying to sort himself out from the tangle of limbs. “How did this happen, Sir?”
“Hmph!” Angeal tried and failed to extricate himself from the younger men. “Feels like an Ardwynna Summon.” He stretched and shuddered to shake off the residual effects. “Compromising positions, damaged reputations, shattered pride and all that.”
Beneath them, with his face still half-buried in a pillow, Sephiroth made the low, patient growl of a jungle cat rearing back for the kill. “I have one question,” he said. “Whose dick is that in my ass?”
Characters: Cloud, Vincent, Angeal, Sephiroth, Zack, Turks + other cast members.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 752
Notes: Being one poorly-illustrated crack fic and something of a self-insert, inspired by this little conversation.
After the nail-painting, the hair-streaking, watching two
“Want to turn in?” Tifa asked.
“No way!” Aeris rolled over onto her stomach. “What kind of slumber party would that be? There’s got to be something we can do.”
Yuffie hauled her bag over. “We could try this new materia I, uh, acquired. It’s a summon.”
Tifa peered into the red globe. “Which one?”
Yuffie shrugged. “Dunno. We’ll have to try it and see.”
“Can’t hurt too much, I guess,” Aeris said, “Give it a go, Yuf.”
“Okay!” Yuffie slid the material into a bangle and focused. The girls all closed their eyes, not knowing what to expect.
After a few minutes of tense silence, Aeris took a peek. “Did anything happen?”
Tifa looked around. “Doesn’t look that way.”
“Aw, man,” Yuffie whined. “I went through all that trouble to ste- uh, acquire this thing and it’s a dud? That sucks.”
Aeris shrugged. “Want to go raid the fridge then?”
“Might as well.”
*******
There really was nothing appropriate to say under the circumstances so Cloud settled for saying nothing. Instead, he busied himself gathering his clothes. From the jingles and rustles behind him, it seemed the other man was doing the same.
Cloud reached down into the dark and encountered a large swath of cloth. It was worn soft and threadbare with use and the color was vivid and unfaded, even in the poor light. Cloud held it out as far behind him as he could reach, clearing his throat slightly.
There was a pause before the cape slid from his fingers. “Thank you,” Vincent said. Cloud nodded, still not turning around. “For what it’s worth,” Vincent continued, “you’re quite good.”
*******
Try as she might, Elena could not tear her eyes away from the utterly insane perversion of a trainwreck before her. Little toy cats weren’t supposed to have the parts to do what that thing was doing, and that wasn’t even mentioning the mog. “Tuesti, you’re a sick man!”
“Hey,” Reeve protested, “I only built them.”
*******
As an ace pilot, trained extensively to withstand high velocities and g-force, Cid prided himself on an iron constitution, but goddammit if this situation didn’t make him want to fucking hurl. Correction: Fucking massacre something and then fucking hurl.
Across the room, struggling to get a sheet to go all the way around him, Palmer was turning several blotchy shades of red. “I’ll give you all the money you want for the space program if you don’t tell anyone about this!” he blurted.
Cid blinked. “Keep talking,” he said and reached for a smoke. Maybe this wasn’t all bad.
*******
“Hey!” Vernon Wilkes, Rocket Town resident, banged on the bathroom door. “Some of us have real emergencies, you know! Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on in there, you silver-haired freaks!”
Unfortunately for Vernon, the only thing that came out of the bathroom was a series of giggles and one, “I wonder how big Niisan’s is.”
*******
Tseng came to a slow stop and took stock of the situation. The view was a little higher up than he was used to and his seat was rather uncomfortable
“Well,” Rufus breathed, looking up at Tseng from the executive chair, “much as I appreciate the show, guys, my desk isn’t the best place for that.” Rude grunted. “And Reno,” Rufus continued, glancing down, “you don’t have to keep doing that.”
Reno looked up from beneath the desk in between slurps. “Already here, Boss,” he said, with one slow lick. “Might as well finish the job.”
*******
“Heh heh.” Zack chuckled nervously as he looked at his superior officers, trying to sort himself out from the tangle of limbs. “How did this happen, Sir?”
“Hmph!” Angeal tried and failed to extricate himself from the younger men. “Feels like an Ardwynna Summon.” He stretched and shuddered to shake off the residual effects. “Compromising positions, damaged reputations, shattered pride and all that.”
Beneath them, with his face still half-buried in a pillow, Sephiroth made the low, patient growl of a jungle cat rearing back for the kill. “I have one question,” he said. “Whose dick is that in my ass?”
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This reminds me of the discussions that Orin and I have about cracky ideas that don't usually leave our AIM chats..... But, I guess that once we can share. (Orin, please don't beat me up later. Or leave embarrassing voice mails on my phone.)
Schala: "Who says my ass is cherry?" just.... sounds like something Zack would say. *bricked to hell and back*
Orin: ...Zack would say that. ...I'm not sure in what state of mind, but... completely sober is a distinct possibility.
Schala: I imagine that Sephiroth and Angeal would be talking about something completely innocuous and then Zack would come in on the wrong part of it and just blurt that phrase out.
Orin: *L* That's Zack, alright. Or just wander through a room naked for no reason. ...Well, for Zack there's always a reason, but...
Schala: *burst out laughing* Oh god, I just had the thought of Zack doing a whole interview with Lazard (and maybe Angeal) and not realizing it until the end that he was naked. And then being like "Shit, I thought this was one of those naked dreams...."
Orin: YES. Yes on so many levels that I cannot even express the YES-ness. And maybe he keeps shifting for comfort. Crossing his legs.. leaning way back and uncrossing them...
Schala: Lazard would literally head-desk by the end.
Orin: But Angeal would LOVE that. "Wow. He's never actually done that before."
Schala: "Maybe we should poke him to make sure he's still alive....... No, Zack, not like that. I meant with a finger."
Orin: ...Zack would still misinterpret. In a big way.
Schala: Yah, but by that point Lazard would grab the.... offending object and threaten to cut it off.
Orin: And then Zack would do his really sad puppy eyes and tell him he was no fun. ...While getting ready to run like hell.
Schala: I have to ask though... would... lil Zack get excited all by himself?
Orin: I think Zack is in a constant state of arousal for the most part...
Schala: Ah.... well, that would be when Sephiroth would walk in. To see Zack naked. With his hard cock in Lazard's hand. And Angeal trying his damnest not to laugh.
Orin: And Zack would likely give Sephiroth a brilliant grin and an inviting wave..? Heh.
Schala: ....maybe Seph would just close the door and strip. Because that's what I would want him to do.
Orin: Oh that would be wonderful. Can't imagine what the four of them would get into... but I like to try.
And then we started talking about Zack having a secret "soap-dropping" fantasy. *nods seriously*
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Deja vu on the Zack soap dropping.
Had an amusing YIM convo with the usual suspects that involved Zack betting Reno that Seph can't dance. That is until they follow Seph and Angeal to the nightclub.
Zack lost.
I may write this as a proper story. Consider that a warning. ;3
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Just remember that he can sing too. *laughs and turns up her Morikawa MP3s*
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Zack would be totally shameless even if he did think it was a naked dream, because Zack Fair has nothing to be ashamed of. =3 Yay! for Seph walking in and just stripping. "Now, now, can't have an orgy and not invite me." Got light cracksmut with those four half-done in my notes actually.
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So. Much. Awesome. =3
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I love the illustration!
I love the robot sex. And what Sephiroth said. And NICE Cloud/Vincent!!!
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CloudxVinnie? There's one I don't see often-- but they're good together! Although Cid really *cough* scored too.
No Yuri, eh? Well, if its offstage, the girls would probably just put it down to interesting side effects from old leftovers and-- uh-- chick flicks.
Love the piccy too, BTW: this will be my mental image of you now. The Great Summons Ardwynna-- destroyer of worlds, ruin follows in her wake. And that summons IS pretty nuclear-- an entire city's worth of FFVII reputations up in smoke!
--
Quotable Questions from the Silver-Haired Bishie King:
"How can there be any meaning in the memory of such a being?"
"The most important thing to you... will you give me the pleasure of stealing it?"
"Whose dick is that in my ass?"
To which the answer is--
Angeal and Zack (together): "Sorry!"
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Soon as the girls find out what went down, they're going to invest in a whole bunch of those itty bitty 'home security' cameras. ;) And the pic, I drew it while supervising final exams (which is so BORING aside from telling the kids No, you cannot go to the bathroom now, Exam conditions mean you go before or after, not during).
Response to question Seph really didn't want to have to ask: Utterly, completely priceless! XDDDDD