ardwynna | Entries tagged with crack

I'm in the exam crunch and can't give the ongoing smut/crack fics proper attention at the moment, so here are some drabbles from IJ's fanfic_100 comm in the meantime. It should be mostly over by this weekend.

Theme: Secrets

Fandom: FFVII: OGC (2 drabbles)

Title: The Means
Characters: Ifalna, Gast, Aeris
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100

( Do ends justify... )

Title: Never Happen
Characters: Cid, Vincent
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100

( Cid Highwind keeps his head. )

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core (4 drabbles)

Title: Confession
Characters: Cloud
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100

( Some things Cloud keeps secret from himself. )

Title: Skill
Characters: Angeal/Zack
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 100

( How a country boy gets his practice. )

Title: From a Bottle
Characters: Scarlet, Genesis
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100

( Painfully obvious. )

Title: Hanes
Characters: Sephiroth
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100

( The big question in life does have an answer. )

Title: And Now For Something Completely Tasteless
Series: FFVII: Crisis Core
Characters: Genesis/Zack/Genesis, Genesis/Sephiroth, Angeal/Zack
Rating: R
Warnings: Fun with fic plots and a wide world of kink. Highly questionable content. Bad, bad Crack.
Word Count: 2790

( When fandom keeps giving you lemons. )

One more batch for today because

misumisu84 wanted some. Most of the rest are in sets of ten, so I'll ease up for a bit. Anyways, this prompt was Conventions! Our favorite guys getting down with their geeky selves in large gatherings of other assorted geeks and weirdos. What's not to love? ;3

Title: Crossdressers Anonymous
Characters: Cloud, ???
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100

( I feel pretty, oh so pretty! )

Title: The Silver-Haired Evil Bishies Association
Characters: Seph, SHM, Guest appearances by Muraki (Yami no Matsuei) and Sesshoumaru (Inuyasha)
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100

( Evil has silver hair. )

Title: Dispensing with Dignity
Characters: Sephiroth, Angeal, Zack.
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100

( Now this is a complete embarrassment. )

Here he is, the Tigger!Zacky, bouncin' and bouncin' and bouncin' some more. ^^

If you want to get better, you have to practise, so it's said, so I'm practicing chibis! ;P

Title: The Other KH Cloud
Character: Cloud
Rating: Doesn't get much G-er than this. ;D

Photobucket

And here, have a Yazoo macro!

Milkshake

Title: Independence Day in the People's Republic of Zack.
Characters: Angeal/Zack, Sephiroth/Genesis.
Rating: R
Word Count: 4488
Warnings: Perv!Seph, Silly!Gen and vice versa, male nudity x(4), rampant silliness.
Notes:

amarissia insists on killing me with angsty, angsty Zack, so it seems my subconscious took over in self-defense and spent all of last week beating me over the head with this instead. Write me, beetch! So much for actual chapter updates. ;p

( O Beautiful, for violet eyes, For dark hair wild as grass, For sculpted muscles of the back above that perfect ass! )

Current Music: Arash - Tike Tike Kardi

Title: Project R-U-N-W-A-Y
Characters: Sephiroth, Genesis, Vincent, Rude, Kansel.
Rating: R
Warnings: Exhibitionism, self-love, a dirty old man in a scarlet wrap.
Word Count: 1100
A.N.: Zoolander parody for

fantasia0829, because her How To Ensnare Your Photographer is so cute. XD

( I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good-looking. )

Current Music: David Bowie - Let's Dance

Title: An Odd Attachment
Characters: Aeris/Sephiroth, Aeris/Zack
Rating: R
Word Count: 660
Prompt: 077: What?
Genre: Crack, inspired by random trivia #8 about Sephiroth at the The Mechanical Contrivium.

( At least it's not shaped like a dolphin. )

Instead of doing the sensible thing and restricting each prompt to a sentence or literal hundred-word drabble, I just let each idea play itself out. The end result is one long ass post. Combined we've got a good 4000 words of crack and weirdness, some a little naughty, nothing too explicit. Enjoy! ;P

(Sephiroth/Aeris) for

usagivindaloo
( A is for Ache: )

* * *

(Cloud and/or Zack) for

artimusdin
( B is for Bounciness: )

* * *

(Seph/Zack/Aeris) for

icedark_elf
( C is for Curious: )

* * *

(Hisoka/Tsuzuki) for

masamunes_song
( D is for Drunk: )

* * *

(Aeris/Sephiroth) for

artimusdin
( D is for Devious: )

* * *

(Sephiroth/Zack) for

verlandi
( E is for Experience: )

* * *

(Aeris/Sephiroth) for

kissangel
( F is for Faith: )

* * *

(Grimoire Valentine) for

wngdngl
( G is for Gift: )

* * *

(Angeal/Zack) for

wickedorin
( H is for Heart: )

* * *

(Jenova/Saki) for

masamunes_song ;P
( I is for Invitation: )

* * *

(Zack/Cloud) for

skeren
( J is for Junk: )

* * *

(Hojo/Lucrecia) for

wngdngl
( K is for Keepsake: )

* * *

(Sephiroth) for

wngdngl
( L is for Leaving: )

* * *

(Aeris/Zack/Seph) for

kissangel
( M is for Melancholy: )

* * *

(Sephiroth/Lucrecia) for

masamunes_song
( N is for Never: )

* * *

(Kunsel/Zack) for

animekittysama
( O is for Operation: )

* * *

(Sephiroth/Aeris) for

verlandi
( P is for Peril: )

* * *

(Zack/Sephiroth) for

masamunes_song. 'Kay, see, I'd already done this particular theme with these two, so continuing in that vein....
( Q is for Quarrel: )

* * *

(Lazard/Sephiroth) for

animekittysama
( R is for Reversal: )

* * *

(Aeris/Sephiroth) for

yubberducky
( S is for Sundress: )

* * *

(Sephiroth/Tifa) for

usagivindaloo
( T is for Tension: )

* * *

(Tsuzuki/Muraki) for

masamunes_song
( U is for Useful: )

* * *

(Sephiroth/Aeris) for

skeren
( V is for Vision: )

* * *

(Cloud/Zack) for

yubberducky
( W is for Window: )

* * *

(Aeris/Jenova/Sephiroth) for

masamunes_song
( X is for Xenophobia: )

* * *

(Aeris/Sephiroth) for

masamunes_song
( Y is for Yearning: )

* * *

(Sephiroth/Reno) for

masamunes_song
( Z is for Zealous: )

Current Mood: satisfied

Here's something silly! Because I've been taking so many potshots at the boys' clothes lately... all self-inserty and strange.

Title: The Funky Fashion Don't
Characters: Sephiroth, Lazard, Angeal, Zack.
Word Count: 703
Rating: PG

( Why wear good stuff to have it end up smelling like... )

Current Music: Carrie Underwood - Before he Cheats

Title: Old Scars
Characters: Angeal/Sephiroth
Rating: R
Prompt: Star
Word Count: 153

( A little exploration never hurt. )

*********************
( Have a little bonus elevator crack. )

Title: Abuse of Power
Characters: Cloud, Vincent, Angeal, Sephiroth, Zack, Turks + other cast members.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 752
Notes: Being one poorly-illustrated crack fic and something of a self-insert, inspired by this little conversation.

( Authors are teh ultimate 3vil. )

Current Music: The Egg and I - Cowboy Bebop

Title: Epilogue on an Elevator
Characters: Veld/Tseng, Angeal/Sephiroth/Zack, Rude, Reno
Rating: NC-17
Word Count 364
Sequel to this.

( Love in an elevator! )

Current Mood: amused

Title: Match of the Century
Characters: Sephiroth, Aeris, Cid, Zack, Cloud, Tseng, Vincent.
Rating: R
Prompt: 044 - Circle
Word Count: 1481

( Are you ready to RUMBLE!!! )

Current Music: Tom Cochrane - Life is a Highway

Crack, yo! Horny Aeris took over and... consider yourselves warned.

Title: Taking Advantage
Characters: Sephiroth, Aeris.
Rating: R
Word Count: 158
Prompt: 033 - Too Much

( Guys, you know you better watch out! )

Title: Intervention
Characters: Zack, Reno, Rude, Aeris.
Rating: R
Word Count: 1193
Prompt: 026 - Teammates
Genre: Crack Humor

( Some girls, some girls are only about... )

Current Mood: hyper
Current Music: Lauryn Hill - That Thing

Title: Confirmation
Characters: Sephiroth/Zack, Hojo.
Rating: PG
Words: 406

( Sephy, fill this bottle up and I don't want tea. )

Title: Practical Fashion
Characters: Angeal/Zack
Rating: PG-13
Words: 454

( Everything has a purpose. Really. )

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe

What

chofi did here kept the Zachary Fair saga going. All I had was this little omake to go with it.

Title: ~~Scarborough~~ Zachary Fair, Take Five
Characters: Sephiroth/Zack/Aeris/Cloud
Rating: R

( Oh, it's very fair, Zack. )

Title: The Courtship of Zachary Fair
Characters: Sephiroth/Zack, Cloud.
Rating: PG

( Fluff is contagious. )

Title The End of the Affair
Characters: Sephiroth, Zack.
Rating: PG

( Trouble in Paradise. )

Current Mood: crazy

Zack Fair. *snerk* In genuine celebration of Zack's last name, here's my contribution to

kemis's surname pun fun post. XD

Title: The Fairest
Characters: Sephiroth, a Mirror and Zack.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 181

( Mirror, Mirror, on the wall... )

( Bonus crack! )

ETA: Well, the bonus crack fueled a full-fledged attempt at a poem. Blame

chofi. :P

Title: Zachary Fair
Characters: Seph/Zack/Aeris/Cloud
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 196

( Are you going to Zachary Fair? )

Current Mood: chipper

Crackish little ficlets. Two of them are from an old series that I never made very public before (with good reason) but I've long dispensed with any dignity as a writer that I thought I had since then. Enjoy! Or run screaming, either one's good. :P

Title: Between Friends
Characters: Sephiroth, Zack.
Prompt: 021: Friends
Rating: PG – 13 because Zack’s a naughty boy.
Word Count: 240

( What's a little booty-grabbing between friends? )

Title: Naughty Newlyweds: Happy Birthday
Characters: Sephiroth, Aeris.
Prompt: 059: Food
Rating: R
Word Count: 296
Warnings: AU Smutcrack

( Birthday Girl gets whatever she wants. )

Title: Naughty Newlyweds: Joint Purchases
Characters: Sephiroth, Aeris.
Prompt: 086: Choices
Rating: R
Word Count: 1027
Warnings: AU Smutcrack

( Shopping together is LOTS of fun! )

Title: Sir Sephiroth and the Witch Trial
Characters: The noble Sir Sephiroth and his companion, Sir Zachary; the alleged witch, Aeris Gainsborough; one Cloud Strife, village idiot; Tifa Lockhart, the busty tavern wench and the unwashed rabble (ie Barret, Cid and Reno).
Prompt: 081 – How?
Word Count: 1564
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Monty Python AU, utter nonsense and groping.
A.N.: So there I am trying to work out some details in the next "Path..." chapter when I get distracted by something utterly ridiculous involving Monty Python and the Holy Grail and all manner of witch testing. So it goes...

Summary: A young woman accused of witchcraft is fortunately happened upon by two knights who have their heads on their shoulders and their hands on other things entirely.

( 'My mother was no hamster,' Sir Sephiroth declared. 'She was a mutant space virus. And as for my father smelling of elderberries, the only person I know who smelt of elderberries was... Oh God, no!' )

Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: Merril Bainbridge - Mouth

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The Weaving

Entries tagged with crack

Drabbles: Secrets

FFVII CC fic: And Now for Something Completely Tasteless...

FFVII_100 Drabbles: Conventions

Pic: Tigger!Zack

Pics!

Fic: Independence Day in the People's Republic of Zack

Fic: Project R-U-N-W-A-Y

Fic: An Odd Attachment

Alphabet Meme Fics.

Fic: The Funky Fashion Don't

(no subject)

A Fic and a Pic

More Events on an Elevator

Prelude to a foursome fic.

Wave that freak flag high, girl!

What is this, 'Pick on Zack' night?

The Zack!Crack continues!

Are you going to Zachary Fair?

I bring thee silly things!

Fanfic100 AeriSeph: 081 - How? (crack!fic)