FFVII_100 Drabbles: Unromantic

[ardwynna]

Here's the drabbles from this week's prompt. Now maybe I should go work on something people actually want to see, eh? ;p

Title: Mood Killer
Characters: Sephiroth/Zack
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100

Poor thing, Sephiroth thought, looking at the boy lying nearly broken on the tank. Traitor, but still he'd been a friend once, or something like it, and fun while it lasted. Poor thing. Maybe one last chance and he could be a minor addition to their side. Maybe he just needed convincing, perhaps a kind word, or a nice present.

“Here,” Sephiroth said, “Do you like it?”

Zack rose up, struggling to see the hideous blue thing Sephiroth had dropped in his lap. “Sephiroth, that is not what I meant when I said I wanted you to give me head.”


Title: Oh, Romeo!
Characters: Cid/Shera
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100

Saturday nights were great for the bars, for dancing and drunken confessions. Then there was that del Solian restaurant up the street. Good food, great wine and a violin player. And there was always pizza and movie. The Loveless remake was getting good reviews.

Frankly, anything was better than sitting in the Emergency Room. Shera fiddled the rags of the rose she hadn't managed to grasp before Cid fell. He gave her a grin. “Guess I'm too heavy for climbing the lattice up to the window, eh?” Shera sighed as the doctor tweezed another splinter out. So much for romance.


Title: Curfew
Characters: Barret, Cloud, Marlene, Denzel.
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100

Why isn't she home yet?”

“Relax, they've still got ten minutes. They're probably on their way.”

“They'd better be. That boy better not try no funny business with my Marlene!”

“He wouldn't, Barret, you know that.”

“It's easy for you to be calm, Spiky! That ain't your baby girl out there walking home with some hoodlum!”

“Denzel's not a hoodlum! I helped raise him.”

“That really supposed to make me feel better?”

Denzel and Marlene stood outside the door listening to the argument inside. Denzel sighed. “Do they really have to do this every time we go on a date?”


Title: Kill 'em with the Love
Characters: Sephiroth, Aeris.
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100

"Look here, you,” Aeris growled, bearing down on Sephiroth though he towered over her even as a spirit. “I don't care how attached you are to that thing, or how much you consider it a representation of your fantastic phallic prowess, you need to get this through your head! The stabbity thing? Not nice! Not nice at all!” She turned on her heels and stormed off. “Like I'd want anything to do with him anyway. That jerk!”

Sephiroth frowned down at the Masamune's hilt. “I don't understand. In romance novels the women are always begging the men to impale them.”

Comments

[anrixan.livejournal.com]

I'm usually not a big fan of drabbles... but yours really amused me lol. I really like the second and third one. :D

[meowwl.livejournal.com]

Have you been reading Xanth novels?...I suppose not, but there's enough pun-ishment in there for one! The third one was just adorably "Awww Cute!", and very typical daddy behavior. The third one nearly require a change of underwear, because I almost peed my pants laughing!

[meiko-matsui.livejournal.com]

HAHA. Each of those made me giggle madly. Great job! ;D

[brynhildr.livejournal.com]

LOL! I love all of them, especially the first ;) I learned a new slang from it, too

[aiakia.livejournal.com]

Man, I don't know how I missed these drabbles when I so looked here yesterday.

The last one in particular really made me giggle. Oh the things one can learn from the all-mightiness that is the romance novel.

On a complete side note, have you ever heard of the Yu-Gi-Oh abridged series? I think that's about the funniest thing I've seen in a while...and while I know I should be writing for FF.net, or doing something constructive like memorizing kanji...lines like this keep me going back for more:

"Time for a trip to the recycle bin, Phantom. And then, once you're in the recycle bin, I'm going to right-click on it and select "Empty recycle bin", because otherwise you would just be taking up unnecessary space. In other words, I'm going to kill you."

[paperclipchains.livejournal.com]

This, of course, begs the question: Where did Seph get romance novels, and when did he read them?

I choose to believe that he spent many a lonely summer curled in the corner of his bedroom, hiding various smut novels inside The Art of War.

[(Anonymous)]

Ah... Aeris is rather out of character. I don't see her saying things like that.

But the concept is funny!